Does a deployment really happen if there’s no egregiously terrible mustache to go with it? You sent your partner off on a deployment, clean-shaven and cute. . . only to Skype one day or see a Facebook post with a patchy pornstache. For spouses who have been through the cycle a few times, it’s expected and just a matter of time. For a spouse going through a deployment for the first time, at the least, it’s surprising.
But no matter how many (or few) times you’ve seen the deployment mustache, there’s no denying: It’s hilarious.
When you see the mustache for the first time
When you think it’s a joke. . .
. . . And then you realize that he’s seriously proud of it
When you try to keep it together on the video call
When you want to respect the ‘stache. . .
But. . . yeah, no.
Your reaction every time he posts a picture
When he asks you if it looks good, and of course, you say yes
When he’s totally convinced he looks super cool and you know you can’t sway him otherwise
When he says he’s always wanted to grow a mustache, but you have literally never heard him say this before
When you make up the next care package and head directly to personal hygiene for razors. Lots of razors.
And yes, you miss him. A. Lot. But there’s also a teeny, tiny part of you glad you don’t have to kiss him with that thing on his face
But the truth is, he’s your guy. . . mustache and all.
By J.G. Noll