6 quotes from ‘Kimmy Schmidt’ that teach us how to deal with military life


unbreakable kimmy schmidt
(Photo: Netflix)

By J.G. Noll

Netflix’s quirky comedy hit, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, follows the story of Kimmy, one of what the media call a “Mole Woman.” The series follows her life as she tries to make her life in New York City after being held underground for a decade. The third season is brand-new today, and we thought it was the perfect time to explore what the series could teach our unbreakable military spouses:

1. “I’m pretty but tough like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown.”

Kimmy’s friend and roommate, Titus, is nothing if not confident. Military life creates the perfect storm –moving to a new location, meeting new people, finding yourself in different situations, having to recreate yourself time and time again– and it it easy to feel week and self-conscious. Take a page out of Titus’ book: Be the beef jerky in a ball gown.

2.  “I’m gonna make waffles outta him.”

Kimmy’s dealt with some pretty hard knocks in her life. Her parents are inept and. . . oh, she was kidnapped for 10 years by Pastor Wayne Gary Wayne– a doomsday cultist. But her past circumstances don’t soften her resolve. Pastor Wayne Gary Wayne isn’t in your life, but you probably have some pretty big obstacles to overcome. Don’t lose your nerve. Make waffles out of them.

3. “I took that shoe and made lemonade out of it.”

Let’s be honest: Sometimes the things that happen in military life don’t even feel like lemons. They feel worse. (Like shoes. . . I guess.) No matter what you’re dealing with– a frustrating go with TRICARE, a roadblock from EFMP, orders to a place you really don’t want to go– do your best to try to make that shoe into lemonade.

4. “I still believe that the world is good, that bunnies are nice, and that snakes are mean, and that one day Sandra Bullock will find someone who deserves her.”

The happiest spouses I know are the ones who try to keep a positive attitude. That’s not to say they’re creepy Stepford Wives (or Husbands). But somehow, they’re able to see the world as a good place that they’re able to navigate, thanks to their experiences in military life.

5. “I’m not really here! I’m not really here!”

Sometimes you just have those days. You know: The ones where you just want to go home or you just want a hug from your mom. Or you just don’t want to be here. Sometimes it’s okay to take a breather and indulge yourself in a little bit of a pity party. Don’t want to be here right now? Have a Skype date with someone you love, make a recipe from your childhood or from a duty station you loved, or give yourself a little me-time.

6. “Smile until you feel better. I call it ‘Kimmying.'”

Believe it or not, science has proven that people who smile more decrease their stress levels–because they trick their brains into being happy. Feeling super blue? Try Kimmying in the mirror or while you’re driving.

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